Tuesday, October 8, 2024

Latest

Related Posts

Why Gentle Parenting Is Important for Black Kids

Affiliate Disclosure: Some links on Spotcovery.com are affiliate links. If you click and purchase through these links, we may earn a commission at no extra cost to you. We only recommend products and services we believe will provide value to our readers. Thank you for your support!
spot_img

Black kids around the world have similar parenting experiences. That of being verbally shut down, emotionally neglected, and not being seen. This parenting style has led to generational trauma manifested through emotionally distant parents and kids, mental health issues, and distrust. 

That said, the new generation of African American parents is changing the narrative. They recognize the damage inflicted on them and don’t want to transfer it to their kids. Welcome to the age of gentle parenting. Before we look at why it’s important for black kids, let’s first understand what gentle parenting means.

Become an insider.  Subscribe to our newsletter for more top trending stories like this!

People Also Read: 10 Black-Owned Wellness Brands For Your Self-Care Needs

What Is Gentle Parenting?   

A man and a woman with their child. Photo by Greta Hoffman, licensed under CC BY 2.0

Gentle parenting is a style that takes into consideration the thoughts and feelings of both the child and its caregiver. The pillars that support it include empathy, understanding, boundaries, and respect. The effect of it is the creation of a reciprocal relationship between the child and the parent.

This type of parenting will fall under the lenient category. Under it, it’s thought the child will develop a secure attachment which means that your child comes from a healthy environment. 

As Ms Jessica Winter notes in an article on Research Gate that was published in the New Yorker:

“The theory goes that the gentle parented child recognises and controls their emotions because the caregiver affirms them. This leads to prosocial qualities and self-regulation.”

People Also Read: Fun Ways to Celebrate Your Kid’s Birthday Without A Party

Why Is Gentle Parenting Important?

1. Emotional openness

Gentle parenting promotes vulnerability between the child and their parents. As a result, they are able to open up to them and share their fears, worries, and insecurities because they know they’ll be heard. It allows them to learn how to recognize. process and speak about their emotions.

2. Development of Trust Between Parent and Child 

One of the downsides of black parenting in the previous generation was the mistrust it bred between kids and their caregivers. Due to the hardlines and, at times, arbitrary rules kids lived by, they weren’t allowed to do anything outside the rules. 

On the other hand, gentle parenting encourages children to explore while still abiding by the rules. This lets the parents relax as they know they’ll follow the rules. It makes kids feel trusted.

3. Setting Boundaries

One of the biggest challenges of black parenting is the lack of boundaries between parents and children. Parents feel like they own you and thus should know everything you’re up to. This continues even in your adult life and it can be suffocating.

Gentle parenting realizes that kids are autonomous. As such, parents should give them space to deal with their own issues. If they’d like to take part in certain aspects of their lives, they shouldn’t bulldoze their way in. Instead, show curiosity. If a child isn’t willing to talk, threats or blackmail aren’t the way to go. Let them know that you’ll be there when they are ready.

People Also Read: Top 10 Black Music Groups of the 90s

4. Understanding Your Child

A mother talking to her kid. Photo by Barbara Olsen licensed under CC BY 2.0

Gone are the days when kids were beaten because Jane got an A and they didn’t. This approach assumed everyone was the same because they attended the same school. 

Another classic demonstration was when a young kid was expected to know what to do in any given situation. This style of parenting expected kids to behave like adults when they were just kids.

Become an insider.  Subscribe to our newsletter for more top trending stories like this!

Understanding your child means being curious about them and recognizing their seasons, behavior, strengths, and weaknesses. It doesn’t assume that you already know them and thus expect them to fall in line with a pre-programmed disposition. 

5. It’s a Foundation for a Respectful Relationship

Traditional black parenting demands kids to be respectful to their parents when many black parents don’t extend any respect toward their kids. They set the rules, don’t follow them, and don’t want to be held accountable. Most of the time, they instill fear and confuse that with respect.

Gentle parenting encourages parents to not only make the rules but also follow the rules. You do as you say, don’t preach water, then drink wine. This way, you will earn their respect, and that’s more long-lasting. If they only fear you, they’ll distance themselves from you once they’re adults. 

6. Leeds to Empathy

More often than not, black parenting considers the parent’s feelings. How they’re hurt, the shame they feel, and how much it’ll cost them to repair the damage. The child’s feelings aren’t taken into account. The conclusion is almost always drawn to indiscipline. 

Gentle parenting calls for the examination of a child’s behavior. At times, kids misbehave because it’s the only way they’ve learned how to get their parent’s attention. Therefore, getting to the bottom of this helps deal with their issues decisively. 

Join our Spotcovery Global Black Community Facebook Group for early access to exclusive content and to share in a lively discussion.

What Gentle Parenting Isn’t 

Some parents might be reluctant to switch from a strict parenting style to gentle parenting as they deem it permissive. They fear it might lead to a lack of discipline in their kids, or they might lose control over them. 

Contrary to that opinion, gentle parenting is about setting clear boundaries and communicating them with your child firmly but in a way that acknowledges the child’s age-appropriate responses. 

People Also Read: Black Skin: 8 Damaging Skin Barrier Signs 

Is Gentle Parenting Effective?

While gentle parenting is recommended because of the benefits in the sections above, it’s not a one-size fits all approach. Every parent needs to know their child and use the appropriate style that works. That said, gentle parenting leads to an emotionally healthier child.

Now that you’ve read about gentle parenting, is this a parenting style you’ll consider using on your kids? 

Nearly 80% of consumers visit directories with reviews to find a local business. List your business for free in our exclusive Spotcovery Black-Owned Business Directory.

Spotcovery offers unique and fresh daily content on Black culture, lifestyle, and experiences. We talk about everything black, black people, black-owned and black-owned businesses. We also deliver authentic and relevant content that will inform, inspire and empower you! The future of black media is critical to today’s black experience! Our primary audience includes African American, African, Afro-Caribbean, and people of African heritage. Black culture is for the culture!

Become an insider.  Subscribe to our newsletter for more top trending stories like this!

Agnes Amondi
Agnes Amondi
Agnes Amondi is a sports enthusiast who enjoys sharing sports knowledge. Over the years, she has also written on different niches, and she now brings that experience at Spotcovery. She writes sports content and also, Arts & Culture, Recipe, Beauty and more.

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here
Captcha verification failed!
CAPTCHA user score failed. Please contact us!

Popular Articles