You’ve probably heard the phrase, ‘the world owes you nothing.’ Unfortunately, if you suffer from Entitled Dependence Syndrome (EDS), you’ll disagree. It’s normal to depend on people, but when you’re excessively demanding, even when you can take care of yourself, you probably suffer from this condition. It leads to frustration not just for you but for other people around you. If you’re a parent, how can you tell your child is developing EDS? These are the signs.
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This video explains what EDS is. Video by Muscle and Mind Connection
We all blame others at different points in life. However, when you always refuse to take responsibility for your actions, especially when things go wrong, chances are that you have EDS.
Admitting that you’re responsible for your circumstances means you’ll have to work to put things in order, and that’s not easy. Pushing the blame means other people should change your circumstances, which is an easy way out.
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Can’t Cope with Criticism
Taking criticism isn’t easy for a lot of people. However, Entitled Dependence Syndrome makes it difficult to listen to people who call you out. You become defensive and aggressive because you think you’re right.
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This condition easily triggers frustration because you think everyone else is the problem. As a result, things in your life won’t change which makes it more difficult for you to make progress.
Lack of Empathy
If you have Entitled Dependence Syndrome, chances are that you don’t care about other people’s situations. You want them to be at your beck and call. As such, you’re not ready to find out whether they have the capacity to attend to your needs.
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Lack of Impulse Control
People with Entitled Dependence Syndrome want things on a whim, even if they don’t need what they’re asking for. They also don’t think about the consequences. For example, they can cause tantrums if you don’t fulfil an immediate request. Think about a child in the supermarket who cries uncontrollably because the parents won’t buy them chocolate.
If you think people owe you, you won’t feel the need to show appreciation when they do things for you. You take advantage of their generosity and even become more demanding. For example,
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Unwilling to Improve
A person with EDS locks themselves in this situation. They aren’t prepared to become functioning members of society. They have unrealistic demands, and when reality doesn’t meet their expectations, they retreat to their usual habits.
When you want to take more from people than you give, it becomes hard to maintain a relationship. You’re always putting people on edge with constant changes in emotion and unrealistic demands that make them prefer to stay away from you.
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What Leads to Entitled Dependence Syndrome?
Dealing with someone with EDS is difficult. You might be wondering how it all came about: These are the reasons:
Parents who are overly critical are likely to produce children with EDS because aren’t allowed to engage in activities and solve things on their own. Consequently, they get used to having someone do things for them.
Permissive parents also bring up children with Entitled Dependence Syndrome. They don’t put any expectations on their children, therefore they don’t learn how to take responsibility and work with others.
Kids who grow up in families where everything they ask for is granted develop EDS. This forms the expectation that they’ll always get what they want; hence, they don’t learn to take a no or learn delayed gratification.
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What Can You Do About It?
It’s possible to reverse Entitled Dependence Syndrome. Here are a few things you can do:
Have Clear Boundaries
Let your child know what’s acceptable and what’s not. Give them responsibilities from early on and set consequences if these aren’t met.
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Encourage Them to Take Responsibility
When your child shows interest in doing activities, encourage them. This will help them develop independence in different areas of their life. You can help them when necessary but don’t take over.
Assist Them in Developing Life Skills
Some life skills like cooking, cleaning, and budgeting money should be learned. However, some kids lack this ability because they’ve always had someone to do this for them. Instill these skills in your child and set them on a path of independence.
We hope these tips help you combat Entitled Dependence Syndrome in your children. If it’s already happening, all isn’t lost. You can take the steps highlighted to reverse the damage.
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