According to the National Sexual Violence Resource Centre, one in five women and one in 71 men will be raped. Furthermore, nearly one in 10 women are assaulted by an intimate partner in their lifetime.
Additionally, 91% of the victims of rape and sexual assault are female, and 9% are male. Also, eight out of 10 cases of rape, the victim knew the person who sexually assaulted them, and 8% of rapes occur while the victim is at work.
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As demonstrated, sexual assault is a prevalent issue in society. Victims find it difficult to report and sought proper help because of stigma so they sufffer in silence. Therefore, this is how you can support a sexual assault survivor.
How to Support a Sexual Assault Survivor: The Do’s
If you don’t know what to do or say to a sexual assault victim, here’s what you can do:
1. Believe Them
One of the reasons why sexual assault victims suffer in silence is victimization. No one believes them. People ask questions that insinuate they are the problem. For example, “Why were you there?”, “Why did you wear that?” Make it clear you believe them.
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2. Let Them Have Space and Time
You probably want to watch over the person 24/7 in a show of support. However, give them space to process the situation and to focus on other things. Additionally, do not be intrusive, asking for every detail of what happened. Let them lead you. If they are comfortable, let them say it. If not, don’t push for details.
3. Show Care and Concern
Let the survivor know you’re available for them. Also, let them know they’re not at fault for what happened. Validate their feelings. Avoid blocking them out and telling them things like, “You shouldn’t say that.” Remember, it’s an emotional experience and they will be all over the place. Allow them the space to let those thoughts out.
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4. Assure Them They Are Not Alone
It’s easy for sexual assault victims to feel alone and that no one understands them. If you’re handling them, let them know you’re there for them. Additionally, with their permission, you can recommend some facilities they can use to get more help.
5. Encourage Them to Seek Medical Attention
It’s important that sexual assault victims access medical care as soon as possible, usually, 36 to 48 hours after the crime happens. If you’re handling one, encourage them to see a medical professional. Apart from the medical checkup which can reveal if they are wounded internally and other concerns, they can also get couselling.
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6. Maintain Confidentiality
If you’re working with sexual assault victims, never reveal this information to anyone who is not supposed to have that information. The victims have trusted you with their story and vulnerability so be a safe place for them. If you must share some information, ask them what to share.
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How to Support a Sexual Assault Survivor: The Don’ts
Sadly, many people mishandle sexual assault victims. This is what you should not do:
7. Question the victim’s account
Don’t lecture the victim about their behaviour before, during and after the incident. Remember, sexual assault is not the victim’s problem.
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8. Don’t Pry for Details
You might want to know everything that happened but it’s invasion of privacy. Also, don’t push them to talk about it when they’re uncomfortable.
9. Don’t Use Accusatory Tone
The last thing you want to do is accuse the victim that they played a role in facilitating the incident. Stay away from the following phrases:
- You shouldn’t have been there.
- What were you thinking?
- What if something worse happened?
10. Don’t Impose a Cause of Action
It’s easy to force the sexual assault victim to take a particular action but refrain from it. You want to provide them with the options and let them choose what’s best for them. Even when you disagree with their decision, respect it.
Summary
Supporting a sexual assault survivor needs patience, composure, compassion and respect. Avoid judging them. Instead, empower them through their healing journey by creating a safe environment. Don’t rush their recovery journey and let them do it at their pace.
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